111 Silly Jokes
- Simply Jelly Jam
- Jul 22
- 7 min read
A fun way to get others to chuckle.
In honor of National Tell An Old Joke Day celebrated annually on July 24th, here are one hundred and eleven "old" jokes I shared in previous blog posts!
In case it's helpful, below are the main points covered in this post:
One-Liners
1 - Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
2 - If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?
3 - There are two words in a person's life that will open a lot of doors for them: PUSH and PULL.
4 - One of Jesus' miracles was having twelve friends in his thirties.
5 - My parents decided to raise me as an only child, which really upset my other siblings.
6 - I was wondering why the Frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
7 - Blunt pencils are pointless.
8 - Russian dolls are so full of themselves.
9 - If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
10 - Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop?
11 - Adam and Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.
12 - I was wondering where the sun was, but then it dawned on me.
13 - People who take care of chickens are chicken tenders.
14 - The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
15 - I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Cleaning Jokes
16 - How do you clean Walt Disney World?
With an Orlando broom.
17 - Why did the burglar take a shower?
He wanted to make a "clean" getaway.
18 - My friend wanted to know if I knew any laundry puns.
I told her I've got loads of them.
19 - How did the dinosaur get clean?
With a meteor shower.
20 - What is a clean house a sign of?
There's no internet connection.
21 - What did the broom say to the vacuum?
"I'm so tired of people pushing us around."
22 - I'm not really into spring cleaning.
In fact, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
23 - What do I mean when I say I cleaned my room?
I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.
24 - I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing.
25 - Deep thought of the day?
When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
26 - Every time you get the urge to clean, watch "Hoarders."
You may decided your house isn't that dirty after all.
27 - How do you contact the spirit of a deceased window cleaner?
Using a Squeegee board.
28 - I start my new job as a street cleaner today.
There's no training. You just pick it up as you go along.
29 - Someone sent me an email about using Vodka for cleaning around the house.
It worked! The more Vodka I drank, the cleaner the house looked.
30 - My friend got a Ph.D. in washing machines.
Now they call him the spin doctor.
Introvert Jokes
31 - What kind of cheese is the most introverted?
ProvALONE.
32 - Why do introverts identify so much with Thor's brother?
Because he is low-key.
33 - Two introverts walk into a room.
One leaves.
34 - How can you tell if someone is an introvert?
They are always in their shell.
35 - What is a group of introverts called?
An oxymoron.
36 - How can you tell when an introvert likes you?
They are looking at your shoes instead of their own.
37 - What is an introvert's favorite tea?
Social anxie-tea.
38 - How much does the average introvert weigh?
Not enough to break the ice.
39 - What kind of films do introverts like?
Shy-Fi.
40 - How many introverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Why does it have to be a group activity?
Roller Coaster Jokes
41 - What is the best way to win an argument with a roller coaster?
Use some loop holes.
42 - What do you call a haunted roller coaster?
A grave-ity defying experience.
43 - What is the fastest ride at the carnival?
Most people would say it is the roller coaster, but the carousel has the most horse power.
44 - How do roller coasters stay safe during storms?
They hold on tight and weather the ride.
45 - Why did the roller coaster bring a ladder to the amusement park?
To reach new heights.
46 - Where do roller coasters like to vacation?
At the top of the world, because it is all downhill from there.
47 - Why did the roller coaster have great dance moves?
It had some wicked twist and turns.
48- Why was the roller coaster feeling cold?
It had too many chills and thrills!
49 - What did one roller coaster say to the other?
"Let's hang out. We have plenty of ups and downs in common."
50 - What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster?
Yes!
Spring Season and Easter Jokes
51 - How excited was the gardener about spring?
He was so excited that he wet his plants.
52 - What do sheep do on a warm spring day?
Have a baa baa que.
53 - Why are oak trees so forgiving?
Every spring, they turn over a new leaf.
54 - What do you call an emergency in the spring?
May day.
55 - What do you get when you plant kisses?
Tulips.
56 - Why could the flower not ride its bicycle?
It lost its petals.
57 - What did the tree say when spring arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
58 - Why is April so clean?
Because April showers.
59 - How do you know that flowers are friendly?
They are always making new buds.
60 - What kind of bird should you never take to the bank?
A robin.
61 - Where is the best place to plant a spring garden at school?
In kinder-garden.
62 - How can you tell the weather is getting warmer?
There is a spring in people's steps.
63 - Why is spring the best time of year to open a flower shop?
Business is blooming.
64 - Does February like March?
No, but April May.
65 - What did summer say to spring?
"Help! I'm going to fall!"
66 - Where do Easter Bunnies go for new tails?
To the re-tail store.
67 - What do you call a sleeping egg?
Egg-zausted.
68 - Why do chicks not play baseball?
Too many fowl balls.
69 - What do you call a Transformer bunny?
Hop-timus Prime.
70 - Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
71 - What are rabbits favorite genre of music?
Hip hop.
72 - Where did the Easter Bunny learn how to ski?
The bunny hill.
73 - What is a baby chick's favorite plant?
Eggplants.
74 - How many Easter eggs can you fit in an empty basket?
One. After that, the basket is no longer empty.
75 - What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?
A bunion.
76 - What do you call a rich bunny?
A million-hare.
77 - Why are Easter bunnies more tired when East is in April?
Because they just finished a long March.
78 - What is the Easter Bunny's coffee order?
Eggs-presso.
79 - How do rabbits keep their fur looking nice?
They use a hare-brush.
80 - What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
It cracks up.
81 - What happens if you tell a duck an Easter joke?
They will quack up.
Summer Season Jokes
82 - What do bees say in the summer?
Swarm, isn't it?
83 - What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.
84 - Where do math teachers go on summer vacation?
Times Square.
85 - What do you call a dog on the beach in the summer?
A hot dog.
86 - Why don't seashells shower?
Because they washed up on the beach.
87 - What does a bee do when it's hot?
It takes off its yellow jacket.
88 - What do you call seagulls that live by the bay?
Bagels.
89 - Why don't skeletons fight in the summer?
Because they don't have the guts.
90 - What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
I'm bacon.
91 - Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool party?
They dropped their trunks.
92 - What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time no sea.
93 - When is it safe to dive into a pool?
It deep ends.
94 - What do you do if you get rejected for a job at a sun cream factory?
Reapply.
95 - Why did the battery go on summer vacation?
It needed to recharge.
96 - Why can't basketball players take summer road trips?
Because travelling isn't allowed.
97 - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yoo.
Yoo, who?
Yoo hoo! Big summer blow out!
Miscellaneous Jokes
98 - Want to hear a joke about a roof?
The first one's on the house!
99 - Two artists had an art contest.
It ended in a draw.
100 - I invented a new word:
plagiarism.
101 - Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type!"
102 - Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
103 - I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me.
104 - Muggers are jerks,
but you still gotta hand it to them.
105 - Did you hear the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind. I'm not going to spread it.
106 - There are basically three types of people in the world:
those who can count and those who can't.
107 - I have a fear of speed bumps,
but I'm slowly getting over it.
108 - My teachers told me I'd never amount to much since I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just wait and see!"
109 - What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
110 - I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.
No pun in ten did.
111 - Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry. I'm still working on it.
What's Next?
Celebrate National Tell An Old Joke Day by sharing some of these jokes with family, friends, colleagues, and others who could use a chuckle!
Comment below to share your favorite jokes!
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Thanks, and have a great day!
~Simply Jelly Jam
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