Silly Mortifications
- Simply Jelly Jam
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
In honor of National Life Writing Month (November).
In honor of November as National Life Writing month, I wanted to share a couple of minor embarrassing stories you may find silly.
In case it's helpful, below are the main points covered in this post:
I Swear!
Dad retold this story to me recently, and I wanted to share it because it always makes me laugh.
When I was a toddler, Dad often sat me on his shoulders when we visited a store. I loved it as a kid and Dad did not worry about me running off.
During one shopping trip, there was a toy that I considered love at first sight. Most toddlers would reach for it or ask their parents to get it for them. On this day, I pointed at the toy that caught my eye and yelled, "HOLY S**T!!!"
People turned and stared at us with jaws dropped and shocked expressions. Dad said he had never felt more embarrassed. He and Mom did not swear around me, so he could not imagine where I heard those words.
So, what did Dad do? He did the ‘walk of shame’ out of the store. No discipline. No apology. He just walked away from an embarrassing situation.
Dad does not recall me swearing any other time during my childhood. As an adult, I choose not to swear, although a 'bad' word may escape my mouth when I am in pain, like if I stubbed my toe on the metal bed frame in the middle of the night.
Slip and Run
My first dog, Shadow, and I participated in dog walk events across the state. I believed attending such events was a great bonding experience that kept us active and allowed Shadow to socialize with many people and pets.
One year, we started a walk with hundreds of other dog owners and their dogs. After a few steps, Shadow stopped and tried to pull back on his leash. This behavior confused me. We have participated in multiple dog walks for several years at this point without issues.
Shadow slipped out of his collar and ran away from the crowd. Panicked, I ran after him followed by a few event volunteers who witnessed it. I instantly felt embarrassed about my inability to keep him calm and control the situation.
Fortunately, Shadow only ran a few feet away to jump onto a bistro chair. The volunteers laughed and walked away when they realized he was not running off. Their laughter embarrassed me more.
I reattached his collar and gave him a slight tug on the leash to get him off the chair. Shadow would not budge. I wanted to walk since we paid for a ticket to participate, but Shadow did not want to walk.
I quickly gave up, and I sat across from Shadow at the bistro table he picked. Some volunteers tried to lure him to join the walk with treats, but Shadow was not a food motivated dog. He would not budge.
It did not take me long to realize that Shadow preferred watching the 'parade' of dogs walking past us. I was convinced of this after a couple more dog walk events where he preferred to sit and watch instead of walking.
For years, we continued to attend and support dog walk events as spectators.
No Bus Pass
For over a year, my large dog, Lucy, and I walked three or more miles every other week. (We usually walk two miles daily when the weather is nice.) I always figured a German Shepard mix with lots of energy could do long walks easily.
Last spring, Lucy and I were three miles away from home. The early spring weather was nice; we had plenty of water with us and took breaks often to keep from overexerting ourselves.
During our drink and rest breaks, Lucy would observe her surroundings. She watched animals and people alike.
On this day, Lucy observed a group of students waiting at a university bus stop. Within a minute, a bus stopped in front of the group. Students walked onto the bus and sat in their seats. The bus drove off once everyone was onboard.
We continued our walk after a short break. Not long after we started, Lucy stopped sitting down. I attempted to give her water again in case she felt dehydrated. Lucy refused to drink. I checked her body to see if something was wrong. I felt her paws, listened to her breathing, looked at her eyes for signs of pain or tiredness. She looked fine.
And then I looked up and saw that we were next to a university bus stop. I became nervous. I knew my crazy girl. I tried everything I could think of to get her walking. I pulled out treats, I gave her commands, and I even attempted to carry her ninety-pound butt. But Lucy would not budge.
A bus pulled up to the stop and the doors opened. Lucy attempted to board, but I looked at the driver and shook my head while pulling Lucy back. The driver asked if we needed to get on. I told him that I was not a student, faculty, or staff member. I told him that we were good.
The bus driver knew we were not good as he watched Lucy desperately trying to get on board. He offered us a free ride, but I declined. He shrugged, closed the doors, and drove off.
When Lucy realized she missed her ride, she started screaming. People stopped and stared at a screaming dog. I felt embarrassed. What if someone thought I was abusing my dog? What if someone thought my dog was abusing me?
Embarrassed, I tried to get her to walk, but she refused. A driver stopped to ask if Lucy was alright. Lucy attempted to jump into their vehicle through the open window. I apologized, explained that my dog was stubborn, and said that we would be alright once we started walking again.
Except Lucy refused to walk.
After about fifteen minutes, I called my Dad to pick us up. We waited another fifteen or twenty minutes before he showed up. During our wait, one other bus driver offered us a ride. When he drove off after I politely declined the offer, Lucy slapped me across the face.
A random driver who witnessed the slap stopped to see if I was alright. I lied about being alright (I was emotionally bummed after the slap). The driver offered to give us a ride, but I politely declined and explained that we were already waiting for a ride.
Dad laughed for an annoyingly long time after picking us up from the bus stop and hearing my story. I have not walked past that bus stop since that embarrassing day last spring. I still cringe when I drive past it.
What's Next?
Although I shared embarrassing stories, these were silly enough to live in my memories for many years to come. Consider documenting your mortification. Who knows? Maybe you will revisit your stories in the future and have a good laugh!
Comment below to share your silly mortification (embarrassing story)!
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Thanks, and have a great day!
~Simply Jelly Jam
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