Thinking back on a lie I was told that kept me from joining the Girl Scouts.
As a young child, I desperately wanted to participate in an activity outside of school. I decided the Girl Scouts was perfect for me, but a lie I was told kept me from ever joining the organization.
Who Are the Girl Scouts?
The Girl Scouts of USA is an organization for young girls. Activities that take place outside of school encourages young girls to socialize and make friends, learn new skills, earn rewards (e.g., badges), and participate in various activities.
Oh, and they're very well known for the various Girl Scout Cookies flavors that was commonly sold by Girl Scouts who setup tables outside of frequently visited businesses.
As a child, I was more excited about the camping activities Girl Scouts got to do. My Mom wouldn't allow me to go to summer camp, so I thought this was a work around to experiencing how much fun I imagined camping would be.
My Initial Meeting with Other Girl Scouts
When I was about seven years old, I learned about the Girl Scouts organization from other girls who attended my elementary school. They'd share stories of the things they got to do that I wanted to be a part of.
I begged my Mom to let me join one of the local troops. I don't know how long I begged, but my Mom eventually said yes. I was overcome with excitement!
We had to complete a paper application. This was long before computers and the Internet were commonplace. Once we had the application completed, I then had to attend a local event where I would meet current and prospective Girl Scouts.
Mom drove me to the meeting location with the intent of walking me in and then leaving. I recall Mom and I meeting with some adults in a large hall of sorts. An older Girl Scout, a teenager, escorted me to another large room where other potential Girl Scouts convened.
My excitement immediately disappeared when I remembered how shy I was to meet new people. I was nervous and anxious to escape a social situation. Fortunately, several extroverted girls quickly eased my nerves and invited me to join their group.
I can't remember everything that happened during my time there, but I remember enjoying myself and the time I spent with the other girls. Diversity was represented well which is not uncommon for a military community. Girls of different ages, races, religions, and cultures were present and got along well.
Many multi-racial girls, like myself, were present making me feel more at home with the group. I was excited and ready to become a Girl Scout.
The Lie I was Told
During an orientation, my Mom stormed into the large room. She grabbed my arm and rushed me out of the building. I couldn’t collect the goody bag I was handed before the meeting started.
I was confused. I repeatedly asked Mom why we were leaving so soon. I thought Mom left to hang out with her friends at Bingo or something. She gripped my arm so tight it left a visible mark on my darker skin.
When we got into the car, Mom said 'they' - the adult members of the organization - didn't want my kind there. My kind? I was even more confused.
I probed for answers until Mom yelled at me to shut up. After a quiet drive, Mom took me to McDonald's as an apology for yelling at me.
While we were eating, she explained that 'they' wouldn't let her leave. She needed to stay until the meetings were finished. During the meeting she was in, she learned that 'they' were racist against blacks. 'They' refused to accept me because of my skin color and gave her a hard time until she rushed out with me saving me from embarrassment and heartbreak.
Unfortunately, I was already heartbroken. I was still confused. There were many different races represented including girls of darker skin color. After crying silently in my room for the rest of the day and well into the night, I thought maybe 'they' were racist against multi-racial girls like myself.
When I went to school the next Monday, several girls I met at the meeting and a few girls who told me about the Girl Scouts wondered what happened to me. They saw my Mom grab me and rush out of the room. I was embarrassed to hear that they and likely others saw that. Being rushed out of that room was painful emotionally and physically.
I told them Mom's excuse for why we left. Of course, the excuse didn't make sense to the girls I spoke to. One asked me, "are you sure that's it?" No. I wasn't sure that was the entire reason why I couldn't join the Girl Scouts.
For months I wondered but was scared to question Mom after she yelled at me that day in the car. But my mind was uneasy. I needed closure, even at seven years old.
One day I asked Mom about that day. "Why...?" "What happened...?" She gave me the same story.
This time, I mentioned there were other black girls there. Some were getting ready to join, but others were already members. At that point in my life, I've never encountered a racist and asked Mom to tell me how 'they' were racist.
The Truth
One thing I learned at a young age was how to get on my Mom's nerves enough to get the truth out of her. I asked enough questions for her to admit that she lied about them being racist.
While the girls were meeting in one room, parents met in another room. Mom didn't want to be part of the meeting, but she was informed she had to be there, or I couldn't participate in my meeting.
It was during the parent meeting when my Mom about the multiple meetings, activities, and events I would have to participate in. There would've been full weekends when I would be away from home to go camping or something. Mom was overprotective and didn't allow me to go anywhere except for two of her friends' houses for a night occasionally.
She then learned that she also had to participate in future meetings, activities, and events. Like a chaperone on an elementary field trip, she would sometimes have to devote time to join Girl Scouts where 'they' went.
Mom didn't want me to be away from home with "strangers." Heck, she wouldn't sign off on school field trips because it went somewhere unfamiliar to her with people she didn't know and trust. (Maybe one day I'll share stories about how I felt left out because I couldn't go on most field trips from K-12.)
Mom especially didn't want to have any part in the organization. She thought all she'd have to do was drop me off and pick me up at that one building location. She didn't know until the parent meeting that she would have to contribute some of her own time to the organization.
She refused to let me join the Girl Scouts. When they tried to reason with her, she got into a heated argument with someone and then decided to storm out with me.
Thanks to her honesty, I knew then that I would never become a Girl Scout. Asking for her to give it a second chance would've been a wasted effort. I also knew I'd never get to go to a summer camp, although I asked for a few years before giving up.
My Thoughts
After I learned the truth, I didn't understand why she lied to me about it.
For months before she confessed the truth, I wondered why 'they' hated me because of my skin color when there were already Girl Scouts with the same or darker skin color. It was my first exposure to racism, and it just happened to be fabricated by my Mom's lie.
It's a sad memory from my childhood. It was the start of trust issues I developed. Fortunately, I have more positive memories from my childhood than negative memories. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for my pre-teen to teenage years when Mom became even more overprotected of me.
I sometimes wondered how life could've been different if Mom allowed me to join the Girl Scouts. Would I have enjoyed it as much as I imagined? Would I have stayed a member through high school? Would it have helped me get over my shyness, nervousness, and anxiety?
Maybe.
What's Next?
Now that I've bummed myself out with this sad memory, I'm going to occupy my mind with some arts or crafts.
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Thanks, and have a great day!
Simply Jelly Jam