A good and bad day.
In honor of prom season, I wanted to reflect on how I missed out on my senior prom and what happened with my date for the night.
In case it's helpful, below are the topics covered in this post:
Knowing the Prom Date Ahead of Time
My high school announced the dates for senior prom night months in advance. I did not give it much thought at first because I knew my Mom would not permit me to attend.
Prom did not matter until a guy I liked asked me to prom via a handwritten note where he explained why and how long he liked me. I felt smitten by his “promposal” and, after reading his heartfelt letter, promptly rejected him.
Shocked, he asked why I said no. I explained that Mom would not permit me to leave the house without a chaperone or date while I lived under her roof. "Jason" convinced me to ask anyway and give him a final answer the next week.
I went ahead and asked Mom for permission to attend senior prom with Jason. The question angered her, and I was told "no" during her excessive yelling about me asking such a stupid question. Her response came as no surprise. Despite knowing her answer loud and clear, I decided to wait until the next week to tell Jason the bad news.
Mom vented about my absurd request to our next-door neighbor who proceeded to scold Mom for denying me a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Mom eventually told me I could go to prom with Jason, but Mom or my brother would drive me to the school and pick me up after a couple of hours.
I was ecstatic! It would have been my first dance and first date that was not arranged by Mom!
My Niece's Scheduled Baptism
A few weeks later, I learned that my niece/goddaughter's baptism was scheduled for the same day. I was ecstatic! I looked forward to spending time with family to celebrate an awesome baby's baptism and going on my first date/dance to end the day.
Then Mom broke the news to me. She informed me that I could no longer attend prom. Confused, I asked why I could not spend the day with family and then attend prom for the few hours originally agreed upon that night.
Mom's reaction to any words other than "yes Mom" was to yell about how I was disobedient. (She still reacts this way with me.)
When she finally calmed down, she explained that my brother and sister-in-law were hosting a celebration party at their house immediately following the baptism. As my niece's godmother, I was expected to be there to spend quality time with family and relatives, mingle with guests, and maintain our family's positive image.
According to Mom, I had to be there the entire day and much of the night since she and my brother would no longer be able to drive me to the high school and pick me up after a couple hours.
She turned down discussions about anyone else providing me with transportation or me driving myself that night (I was not allowed to have a car or drive despite having a driver's license).
We argued. Mom "won" the argument and granted me permission to invite Jason to the baptism and party, but I had to let him know that I would not attend prom that night.
I told Jason and apologized profusely. I expected him to feel disappointed and cut contact with me. To my surprise, he excitedly exclaimed that he would be my date to the baptism and party.
Things did not seem so bad after Jason expressed his excitement to spend a whole day with me opposed to a couple of hours.
Baptism Day/Prom Night
My beautiful niece was baptized in the morning. Family, relatives, friends, and more were in attendance for the remarkable event. Everyone headed to my brother and sister-in-law's house for the celebration party.
As an introvert with social anxiety, I hated the celebration party. I looked forward to spending time with Jason, but Mom kept me busy with tasks and chores.
I had to help with setup, mingle with people, and cleanup as soon as there was something to clean up. If I missed a few empty paper plates on a table, Mom made sure to yell for me to clean it up right away.
I tried to sneak away a few times to chat with Jason, but Mom always found me, yelled at me for making her look bad, and sent me back to do whatever it was she wanted me to do.
I think it was a cousin who told me to take a break to have fun while she dealt with Mom. I was grateful to finally spend time with Jason.
He told me earlier that he brought his swimsuit and would wait for me there. I made a b-line to the pool.
Sure enough, Jason was where he said he would be. He was making out with a female relative of mine while holding her tight in his arms.
Maybe some girls would have felt anger or disgust after witnessing their date shove his tongue down a relative's throat. Maybe some girls would have confronted both of them immediately.
I only heard Mom's voice in my head as I witnessed the make out session. Mom often told me men were untrustworthy, to avoid confrontation at all costs, I was ugly, and no good man would like me because of my appearance, disobedience, and immaturity.
My young and naive mind assumed Mom was right about those points I mentioned.
I did not blame Jason. We did not have a chance to hang out all day. He clearly found my relative more attractive and attentive.
Seeing my relative make out with any guy came as no surprise to me. Jason just happened to be another guy she tried to hook up with.
I hurried away before they saw me.
The Aftermath
I never confronted Jason or my relative about their make out session.
I was not close to this relative, so nothing changed there. However, I told Jason that I was not allowed to date (true), so things would not work out between us.
Jason would ask me out regularly over the next year (we attended the same community college after high school graduation). We lost touch after he enlisted in the military.
My niece/goddaughter grew up to become a remarkable young adult. She is loving, kind, strong-willed, and unbelievably intelligent. I am proud of her and grateful to have seen her grow into the well-rounded person she is today. She and her siblings were the best part of all the days I spent with them!
What's Next?
If you wanted to attend your prom but had to miss out, do not fret. There will be other fun events and opportunities in your future!
Comment below to share your prom story!
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Thanks, and have a great day!
Simply Jelly Jam