A Worrying Activity
- Simply Jelly Jam
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
Completing a "worry worksheet" to ease my mind about a minor fear.
During my third therapy session, my therapist handed me a "worry worksheet." Now, anxious about an upcoming trip back home to visit family, I decided to complete the worksheet and share my answers to the questions.
In case it's helpful, below are the main points covered in this post:
The "Worry Worksheet"
My therapist said the "worry worksheet" would help me determine if something on my mind was worth worrying about. She said it may ease my anxiety and prevent panic attacks.
The writing prompts are like the "Mistaken Beliefs" questions I answered in my Feeling Ugly blog post.
The worksheet asks the following questions:
What am I worried about?
What are the facts indicating that it would come true?
Is there evidence that the opposite is true?
The worksheet provides space for writing out a three-step plan if there are enough facts and evidence for my worry. At the bottom, it says to "Follow the Plan" and provides the following statements in all caps:
"THEN DON'T WORRY"
"DO OPPOSITE ACTION"
While I could not find the exact worksheet I have online (I wanted to share a direct link for anyone interested), I did find a similar one titled "Worry Exploration Questions" through TherapistAid.com.
I recommend searching for "worry worksheet" online for additional resources. There are several websites on the first two pages of the search result (I used Google) that provide free and helpful information, questionnaires, and activity worksheets to help you determine if your worries are legit.
Since I have something new that I am worried about, I decided to complete the worksheet for grins. Hopefully, this activity will actually help me plan.
My Worry and Answers to the Worksheet
What am I worried about?
I will soon return home to visit family. Mom asked me to stay with her for several days to keep her company and do chores around the house. After much thought, I decided to appease her by staying for one or two nights.
There are many things that weigh on my mind, but my main worry is Mom potentially pressuring me to know why I have reduced contact with her this year.
Do I remind her why I have not called or visited as often this year? Do I redirect the conversation until she forgot her original question? How would she react if I reminded her of my answer or redirected the conversation to avoid answering?
I fear that if I reminded her why I had not called or visited, she would scream until she was on the verge of passing out. Mom would be angry at me for my feelings and how I "always" disregarded her feelings.
If things got too intense, I would walk away and head back home. I am on the verge of going no-contact, but I hesitate to do so because she always complained about being alone and lonely.
In a worst-case scenario, Mom would become so upset that her health takes a toll and she ends up in the ICU again.
What are the facts indicating that it would come true?
Mom already asked me several times why I reduced contact with her this year. Last June when she asked the question, I tried to remind her of her hurtful rant from April. Instead of hearing me out, she cut me off.
Mom yelled about me being a liar. She said she would never say such things to me. She then proceeded to say more hurtful things including some of the things she said during last April's phone call.
Weeks later, she asked the question again. I stupidly reminded her of April's phone call. Once again, Mom called me a liar and specifically said that she would never tell me to "go straight to Hell."
I attempted to remind her that she said that I will "go to Hell" because of a name I mentioned, but she yelled over me. At the end of that conversation, she said that I "will go to Hell" for lying. Then she hung up.
Every other time she asked the question, I simply told her that I was busy. I never elaborated, even when she pressed for more information. Mom seemed to accept that answer most of the time, but a few times it made her angry enough to yell at me before hanging up.
Because she will not let it go, I believe there is a good chance that she will ask the question when we are alone in-person.
Is there evidence that the opposite is true?
There were a few phone calls where Mom never asked the questions. She also did not ask when I visited her twice in August to give her a new cell phone and set it up the way she wanted.
Mom may not ask the question because I will appease her by staying a few nights. She may be afraid to say anything that could encourage me to leave early.
My Three-Step Plan
Step One
During conversations, I will continue to use the "yellow rock method" (my therapist said she has never heard of this) to be polite with minimal words. I do not want to accidentally say something that would trigger the question. Until this year, this method worked well because Mom loved talking without interruption.
Step Two
If the question arises, I will calmly attempt to redirect the conversation by asking her a question about herself. Mom loves attention (she often reminds me that I owe her more of it) and may trail off on another conversation path.
Step Three
If redirection does not work and Mom presses me for an answer... I do not know what I will do yet. This is something I want to talk about with my therapist, but I will not meet with her for a few more days. I want to be honest with Mom and remind her why I reduced contact, but I also do not want to deal with another one of her tantrums.
To Worry, or Not to Worry?
After writing things out, I am a little less worried about the question coming up during my visit. I believe there is a high chance that Mom will ask the question. After all, she has asked the same question numerous times since June. It feels like a guarantee.
I hope that I am wrong. I hope the question never comes up. I hope that I can stay for a few drama-free nights so that I can keep her company and complete some chores that have been neglected.
I also know that I have never had a fully peaceful visit to Mom's house. Mom is the harbinger of drama. If the question does not come up, her usual complaints and criticisms about me will.
Maybe I am worrying about the wrong thing?
What's Next?
I will bring up my worry during my next therapy session. Hopefully, my therapist will give me guidance or tools for worrying less.
If you are worried about something, consider answering the questions above or use another “worry worksheet” online to help you determine if something on my mind was worth worrying about.
Comment below to share how you address your worries!
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Thanks, and have a great day!
~Simply Jelly Jam